The Upward Spiral

I’m not sure what to feel about new year. I just hope I would be able to do something. Continue to experience & explore new things & places. I can’t stand monotonous life. It’s just not for me. It makes me feel awkward mentally.  For me life is kinda stop when I stop exploring. I’m still exploring in a way but in a different way. More like exploring knowledge & myself through books & countless articles. Getting more knowledge of any kinds give me sort of satisfaction. I never really realize that knowledge is really that powerful. Previously all I know is that, u need knowledge to pass the exam & that’s it. Talk about Malaysian education system failure at its finest.

Anyway as I wrote in my previous blog entries, I had mention that I’m still trying to figure out a way to prevent depression recurrent. I can’t say that I found it yet but I think I sort of found some ways to deal with it. I read this book called “The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Cou…

counting days for 2012 to end!


oh wow.time passed by so fast...i still remember the end of 2011 quite well..and now we almost come to the end of 2012...can't hardly wait for it..well actually it doesn't mean that much anyway just the change of  number  from 2 to 3..however..next year would be different for me..so yeah..that's why..that's my goal...do different things each year..talking about 2012..i love 2012! it's been a great and happening year for me but a bit bitter too at the same time.especially at the beginning of the year and some part of other months that i couldn't mention here...i wish i can forget some part of 2012 out of my my mind and memories..and born as a new person..in memories-wise...hahaha....i managed to change my way of thinking and my personality a bit or more (not sure the scale) for the past 4-5 years ..i'm not sure  whether i can change my attitude or personality again..modified it a bit here and there..just wait for my ideas to come..i don't wanna think about it..i guess people see me as a happy person..and other people will realize immediately if  '' i'm not happy''..actually.. originally i'm not that kinda person..totally the opposite..i never really smile to other people even towards people that i know and i'm quite passive.it's more to my inner shyness (my made up words..haha) conflict..i don't really talk to people and i don't have interest talking with other people..tapi itu dulu..i realized that it's not a good attitude and i have to change for myself too..and now i have changed ! :D ..maybe not totally but up to better scale :D ..and one more thing..negativity..i can't live with it..it is something that have to kick out like a disease...if i don't do that..u'll definitely see the different hidden side of me..scary and full of unspoken rage inside of me which come out once in a while if i accidentally think too much  .that's why i have to live to not to think too much about unnecessary stuff..believe me..it is really really bad..and thinking in the sense of mind-reading is one of the worst activity ever and i try to avoid that too..it is very very tiring..we are not superhuman who can read other people mind..but we love to do that weren't we?

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