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The Upward Spiral

I’m not sure what to feel about new year. I just hope I would be able to do something. Continue to experience & explore new things & places. I can’t stand monotonous life. It’s just not for me. It makes me feel awkward mentally.  For me life is kinda stop when I stop exploring. I’m still exploring in a way but in a different way. More like exploring knowledge & myself through books & countless articles. Getting more knowledge of any kinds give me sort of satisfaction. I never really realize that knowledge is really that powerful. Previously all I know is that, u need knowledge to pass the exam & that’s it. Talk about Malaysian education system failure at its finest.

Anyway as I wrote in my previous blog entries, I had mention that I’m still trying to figure out a way to prevent depression recurrent. I can’t say that I found it yet but I think I sort of found some ways to deal with it. I read this book called “The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Cou…

OCD and I

I’d been suffering from OCD since I was a child. I never went to the doctor but I knew that I have it.

Having OCD is very tiring. Kinda.
I always have this repetitive thought & do sort of repetitive action. I don’t think anyone realize it except myself.
When I was younger, my repetitive action mostly by aligning object to have a straight line or in a “correct position”. If I didn’t do it, something bad is going to happen like someone will kill me or I will have an accident etc. That is what my brain told me. It was quite bad when I was younger.

Another repetitive action that I do even until now is in term of washing or cleaning or brushing my teeth. I always have these thoughts that if I didn’t clean properly something bad going to happen or the chemical will give me cancer. It’s that bad. It makes me laugh but it’s almost like an automatic action.
My OCD-ish actions also includes counting objects in certain numbers like 3,5,7 or 8.
For example if I want to eat crackers, I will ma…

Depression in silence

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#Disclaimer: I am already free from depression. This post is regarding my reflection on how I feel and what was my thoughts during my depression episode last year and years before that

Yesterday Jonghyun from Shinee had died due to depression. He committed suicide.
I was a fan of Shinee many years ago when I was so into all this kpop stuff. But at my age now, kpop is not relevant to me anymore. I'm more into soul RnB and classical music now.
Back to Jonghyun. I was shocked when I read the news about him passing. I thought it was just a hoax. I was wrong. He was really gone. A few of celebrities had committed suicide but i never feel sad except for Jonghyun. I have to admit a few little tears came out. Perhaps because I used to be their fan when I was so crazy about Kpop. They were my favorite band beside Infinite at that time. And because I know how depression feels like. But not to the point that I want to commit suicide though. I'm glad it didn't reach to that point. It …

Type of post that I found annoying on FB

I’m not really active in FB now. Normally I just scroll the feed just to read some news.
I’m like many others, found that things that had been posted by some people are annoying.
Ok I get it it’s a good platform to share what’s happening in your life to your beloved friends.
But too much of everything is not good. I didn’t unfollow these people. I just use FB less nowadays. But I have to admit that I did unfollow some people although they are still my ‘friend’ on FB. They are those people who love to post racist statement or toxic people.

So below are my list of annoying people on FB lol:

1. Gym, yoga or Zumba enthusiast.
     I’m fine with these people if they didn’t post their workout pic every ‘second’ they are in the gym etc. It’s very unflattering to see your  sweat or show off things that people don’t want to see. One pic is fine. But too much of it, is annoying.

2. Cry baby
This is another level of people who love to rant on FB (i’m Ok with this) . But not Ok with a cry baby at…

September 2017

hello blogspot! i'm back! well i'm bored. hence i decided to write something. i bet my adsense stay with income of USD 0.01 lol because nobody actually read my blog. but that doesn't matter. Probably in the future i can get back to this blog & read it after 10 years & laugh about it lol. i did laugh on my old post from like 8 years ago. I sounds so silly & naive. Wow! how time flies !!

It's already September. Although it is such a peaceful year for me personally, but Geez what a boring year it is.
There is no progress in my life other than my inner peace lol. i bet if i don't have a family, i might be homeless by now. haha. but if im near to homeless situation, i might not be like this if i dont have anyone anyway.  I might be cleaning the loo or scrubbing the floor by now in order to eat. Do u get me? lol i just exaggerate on that part.

i have no exact topic for this post, just want to ramble nonsense. that's what i love to talk about when im in th…

My life at 32

Well I'm not yet 32 but I'm going to be 32 soon. Yup I'm a Leo. An introvert Leo to be precise.
I can't believe that I'm already in my 30's.
I feel like my life passing me by too fast.
I feel like I'm not ready for a lot of things. At your 30's most of your friends already get married & having kids but I feel like it's not something for me... yet. I don't even like kids to be honest nor do I have motherly nature. Not at all. I'm still my selfish self. I don't even like to spend money on people. Being a minimalist by nature doesn't help.

I guess a lot of people don't understand. But I will not make anyone understand because it's just me being myself. I don't have to live my life the way people wanted me to. I just want to be happy & have peace in myself. Anything else doesn't matter that much. Well of course some people will or already judge me for being like this. But to get rid of all those negativity, I just…

My foreign jewelry collection

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I love collecting stuff from other countries like shot glass, coins & jewelry. 
I'm not sure if I should call this as jewelry or not lol because it is not made from jewel or anything lol. I don't really wear them to be honest since I'm not a jewelry type of woman. The only 'jewelry' that i wear are some small crystal earring. Anyway lets look at my small foreign jewelry collection.
Murano glass earring

       Murano glass pendant                                           Backview of Murano glass pendant
All of this I bought at Venice island for like 2 Euro i think. I love those Murano glass that have flower in it.

Murano glass earring This one I bought at Burano island for like 7-8 Euro 😅😅


Gypsy earring This one I bought at La Rambla, Barcelona for 5 Euro. I love the Bohemian feel of it, They have a lot of other type but I can only afford to buy one since I'm a poor Asian woman 😆
Czech Republic pendant. This one I bought at Old Town Square, Prague. I can&…